This list is a lot different from the one I wrote a two months ago (“A Rather Odd List Of Things That Turn Me On“) because whereas the list of things that turn me on get my attention, this list of things get my heart. Theyhave more to do with her character and the type of woman she is, than what she does for me. For example, in the post of odd list of things that turn me on, I say I love a woman who can make me a good taco, because I do. That is a turn on. But a woman who doesn’t know the first thing about making a good taco, so she calls my mom up to find out how she used to make tacos for me, then gives it a try herself…that woman has my heart. So here it is: Five things that make me want to marry her instantly.

I don’t want a wedding either! Great! Let’s go to the Justice of the Peace, handle our business, and have the party to end all parties at a reception with friends. SHE LOVES THE PITTSBURGH STEELERS A woman who is down to watch the game is a turn on, but a woman who has grown up loving the same football team I love will get me to the altar quicker than a quarterback can say, “HUT!” I dated a woman last year who was a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan just like me and she still has a piece of my heart.

I hate roller coasters, absolutely deplore them as a matter of fact. There is no reason I want to go that high that fast all upside down and stuff. So it feels good to know the woman I’m dating will never be the type to drag me by my hand to some hair-raising contraption, talking about, “Oh come on, don’t be a baby!” SHE HAS THE SAME SLEEPING PATTERN AS ME. I’ve written at length about how frustrating it is to date someone whose sleep regimen is the polar opposite of my own, but I can’t stress how important this is. I truly do believe the woman who is meant for me is the woman who wants to be in bed by 12 a.m. and up by 6 a.m.

SHE FORWARDS ME ARTICLES ABOUT THINGS I CARE ABOUT. “Saw this article, and I thought you might find it interesting. Check it out and we can talk about it.” I don’t remember what the article was about, but I do remember receiving this email from a woman I once dated and thinking how I would so marry her if it wasn’t for the fact that she went to bed all late and loved riding roller coasters.